Release & Praise

Re: the past year, past

decade, all the past, the

hurt, disappointment, confusion,

sadness, loss,

e.e. cummings said it best:

let it go – the
smashed word broken
open vow or
the oath cracked length
wise – let it go it
was sworn to
go

let them go – the
truthful liars and
the false fair friends
and the boths and
neithers – you must let them go they
were born
to go

let all go – the
big small middling
tall bigger really
the biggest and all
things – let all go
dear

so comes love

so begins the brilliance of this moment

with its vibrant shadows and color…

may each day bring peace, kindness, joy!

 

wpc

serve & savor

I awaken each morning torn between a desire to serve and a desire to savor the world.

This makes it hard for me to plan the day.

E.B.White

Love and Gratitude to you, Robin…R.I.P.

Carpe diem! and O Captain! my Captain!...phrases that Robin Williams so fully embodied that they inspired our loyalty and people of all walks to seize the day in these blink-of-an-eye lives.

He portrayed the complexity of existence even as he blindsided us with laughter and tears.

Robin conveyed our shared stories in their different slants: the loving dad with a failed career and marriage; the indiscernibility between “sanity” and “insanity” from the perspective a doctor, therapist, lone leader living on the street, radio hero; and on Broadway raised our spirits beyond circumstance.

 Robin Williams was the most brilliant comic of our era with his mercurial mind and physicality. He disarmed and enlivened us with rapid-fire humor, depth, and astute observations and connections while making us laugh in the face of our shared vulnerability to circumstance and personal chemistry. I grieve the loss of Robin and that the right person wasn’t with him when he needed.

Most of us are vulnerable to biochemistry and Parkinson’s, which creates severe depression in many people and may have tipped the scale toward the tragic loss of this brilliant man. Though suicide affects a family for generations, perhaps Robin saw this quick death as the most loving choice rather than “burdening” his immediate family with the ruthless decline that Parkinson’s exacts.

We’ll never know exactly why Robin killed himself, but his suicide serves as a clear reminder that no one is impermeable. I can imagine how difficult this choice must have been given his depth, courage, exceptional mind and generous heart.

Robin Williams consistently portrayed the authenticity of his characters and provided his audience the means to laugh despite our multi-faceted vulnerability. He also treated others with a kindness that has been attested to by family, friends and co-workers.

Both College of Marin and Julliard drama students benefit from Robin Williams scholarships, and he regularly broke the “normal” separation between film “artists” and “crew,” such as when he offered a crewmember half of his candy bar. As he split the candy, Robin said, “Look, two bars in one!”

I offer these photographs (from an impromptu memorial in front of the house in which Mrs. Doubtfire was filmed) with gratitude and love to Robin and with deep sorrow for his family and loved ones.

On August 11, 2014, we lost one of our best…a man with the courage to make us laugh and the ability to ignite our humanity.

Oh, Captain, my Captain, thank you!

And may each of you who read this seize the day!

Living with Chronic Illness

The following quotes and suggestions are drawn from After the Diagnosis: From Crisis to Personal Renewal for Patients with Chronic Illness by Dr. JoAnn LeMaistre.

Being psychologically well while physically sick stems from a belief that your personal worth transcends physical limitations.

Belief in your self worth rarely emerges until what you have lost and grieved for stands second in importance to precious moments of inner peace and joy. 

When living with chronic illness:

1.  Develop realistic expectations.

2.  Actively approach problems by defining the problem and the desired outcome.

3.  Seek appropriate help.

4.  Save valuable energy by learning anger management and emotional efficiency.

5.  Participate in the world as positively and authentically as possible.

6.  Focus on the present moment and what nourishes you rather than punishing yourself by focusing on loss. Maintain your humanity and awareness, and cherish life’s gifts.

(Special thanks to mmorgan77 for first synopsizing this on inspire.com.)

Thank you Ceres of Marin!

 (pureed red beet soup with cashew cream heart)

On Feb 13, my first meal was delivered from Ceres Project who delivers free weekly meals for people with cancer and other life-threatening illnesses for three months. This profound kindness is only one of the important ways Ceres Project is improving the world and individual’s lives. They even take recipient’s dietary requirements into account (gluten-free, for example); and use whole, health-promoting, organic, seasonal food, sourced from local farms, farmer’s markets and Whole Foods Market; and teach teens, who prepare the food, how to cook delicious nutritious meals.

Even kindergarteners are involved by making inspiring cards for clients. Mine was from Max. Thank you, Max! It’s on our refrigerator and makes us all smile.

Cancer and it’s treatment is challenging for anyone as well as a person’s family so I wish I’d taken a picture of my brother’s face when the food arrived after we returned home after radiation and a walk. I didn’t know my three month period was beginning last night so – though bone tired – he was about to start dinner when the Ceres meal arrived.

My brother was even happier than me when this restaurant-quality meal arrived since it provided him with a much needed break from his daily grind of support while I am in treatment. Ceres’ care nourished all of us and my brother was able to relax and relish the yummy scents, appearance and taste rather than prepare yet another meal for a family in which two of us are disabled.

Valentine’s Day inspired the presentation of last night’s meal for one of the most loving valentines ever created. In addition to the pureed beet soup we received:

(arugula salad with watermelon radishes and blood orange dressing)

 

(heart-shaped turkey meatloaves with unsweetened tomato jam)

 

(sauteed red chard with blood oranges)

 

and as a special Valentine’s Day treat

(dairy- and gluten-free chocolate cranberry bread pudding sweetened with a touch of maple syrup)

Every bite was scrumptious! Our bodies were nourished with the healthiest of foods, our spirits raised and we were able to relax for the night, a rare and needed treat.

I hope people will consider supporting the Ceres Project since they make an enormous effort to benefit more lives than one can imagine. If you know someone in Sonoma or Marin who is being treated for cancer or another life-threatening illness, please let them know about Ceres Project. And hopefully people in other areas will be inspired to create similar services in their communities.

For more information, or to volunteer, or provide a tax-deductible donation to this remarkable organization:

Ceres Community Project of Marin

P.O. Box 151049

San Rafael, CA 94915-1049

www.marin.ceresproject.org

Happy 2014!

You are stars in dark

nights brightened with faith and hope–

love’s the deep well…drink.

5 deserted island essentials

The classic list that no one would have at the time needed since we don’t plan to be alone on a deserted island. However, I thrive on creativity and expression, but I’m a soft-skinned animal so I would want:

1. A deep well that desalinates the sea;

2.  Identification guide for land and sea flora & fauna to identify edibles and the like;

3. Everlasting all-UV protective sunglasses;

4. Clothing made from fabric like tencil or multilayered silk* to last for decades;

5. A first aid kit that could supply a hospital, including morphine for a comfortable transition at life’s end;

A list I hope no one would ever need…except as an outward bound experience in which case I’d want:

a camera with a long battery and lots of memory; a journal; a space pen with refills; a knife; three glass bottles for water desalination.

* (Silk is so strong that it is used as body armor…as I remember, it takes 50 layers to stop a bullet)

5 haiku

Waiting crazes when

cancer’s in lymph’s slow slide like

fish about to spawn.

*

LISTEN–I thought for

words; instead, for music in

voices, steps, breath–now.

*

Pinch me, I’m happy!

Chemo’s eclipsing our lives

yet sky’s blue, birds sing.

*

Outside eight bluebirds:

two too young for blue learning

from blues bright as sun.

*

Your soft snore shores my

sleep and my wake, reassures

me we’re here, alive.

~

haiku catchoo!